We put thirty spokes together and call it a wheel;
but it is on the space where there is nothing that the usefulness of the wheel depends Dao de Ching: Ch 11
We instinctively look for someone to listen when things go wrong.
All a helper has to do is maintain a clear and safe space and then do nothing in it but pay total attention.
The following pages show how to go about that using the connections that spontaneously form between any two people.
listening
A Person Centered Therapist listens not just with their ears but also their body, emotions and mind.
They are a sounding board in an accepting and caring environment where someone can experience what they are saying and feeling. This is not possible in the everyday world of mutual expectations and reciprocal obligations where we have to be careful what we say and how we say it.
The therapist tries not to get in the way. They are providing a space where someone can work out who they are and how to be themselves.
the core principles
There is no substantial evidence that any kind of psychotherapy has much better outcomes than another. However there is evidence for the usefulness of these few core principles. Most therapies rely on some of them. They are simple, in harmony with nature and empower people to grow and heal themselves.
Rather than being detailed instructions, they are guidelines to build a method of therapy and decide how to respond within a therapy session. They suggest ways to be rather than things to do.
The principles are put in the form of propositions that can be tested to see if they work.
try it
You can try these ideas out within most therapeutic frameworks for a few moments or even for most of a session without disrupting its flow and see if they work.
Notice thoughts, feelings and mood at the beginning and then again at the end of a session. What has changed?
The exercises on the body, mind and stress pages help expand awareness beyond the limits of everyday habits of thought.